An ordinary girl trying to be extraordinary :)
All praises to Allah 💘To My Future Self
Friday, April 22, 2016 0 cutiepie
You are someone whom I'm proud of - to achieve everything you targeted, to bravely walk forward, to stay strong whenever, wherever you are. Such a strong girl.
I am sorry if the past and I are such a shame on you. Even if we bring pain to you, even if you are tired of us, even if you wish for a better us, please don't forget us. Don't forget - all the hardships you went through, everyone who had helped you, all the motivations you gained to keep breathing for the next day. To keep moving forward. Such a strong girl.
You were my past's biggest fear. You are my fear. But, knowing the fact that better things are coming, I knew from the start that it's you. Just know that whatever you decided to do later, just make sure it makes you happy because I've been supporting you since forever.
Dear my future self,
please be strong until I meet you.
Sincerely,
ME
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To the person who was disappointed in me
Thursday, April 14, 2016 0 cutiepie
My goal was not to disappoint you but sorry I did. Sorry I couldn't meet your expectations. Sorry that perhaps I didn't give my all to reach for the better. I am sorry.I tried really hard you know, enough to give myself few pats on my shoulder and say "I'm really proud of you". I knew that someone else was better than me - there'll always be someone who's better right? You're my favourite person and that it saddened me that I disappointed you with everything.
I want to be the reason of your smile and not your tears, the reason of your happiness and not your wariness, something you'd be proud of.
Sorry that I am such a disappointment but believe me I didn't mean to.
I love you.
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To my past self
I just want to say thank you for all the things you'd done. All the shits you went through, all the sleepless nights you'd endured, all the misconceptions about you that you'd ignored, all the classes you tried so hard to stay awake - your tears dropped, all the loneliness you overcame and all the sadness you covered with a smile. Thank you.I won't and never will I know how hard you tried to keep everything in the right place. If only I could be there to sing you lullabies, to stand up for you, to tell the world the hell you're in, to cry with you in showers and to hug you and say "Everything is okay", I would. I really would. I'm sorry that I'm not there with you during the hardest time but you are the sole reason of my happines today. I don't even know if I'm tough enough to do it all over again but you did. You freaking did. And I am so proud of you.
Sincerely me,
Your current self.
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Hates
Monday, April 11, 2016 0 cutiepie
To the person who hates me without any reasonsHere are the lists of why you should hate me:
1. No matter how hard you tried to bad-mouth me, I still have friends who believe in me.
2. I get along with people well and you don't. Well, wake your freaking self up, what the heck does people who doesn't even know your name got to do with your problems.
3. I am more popular than you. I guess for this one I should share the credits with you since you're the one who did all the hard works in making me one.
4. I am always happy and you don't understand why. You ought to know I'm no Tinky-Winky, I AM NOT HAPPY ALL THE TIME. I have freaking problems too. I also stress out sometimes okay? And just because I'm not why should I let the world know what breaks me down?
5. I am okay without any friends but you don't. Let me share something with you little boo, not having anyone with you is not the ticket for you to feel sad. If you don't have friend so what? you have to sit alone? you have no one to share your secrets? you need someone to tell your problems? Well guess what, sometimes, people don't give a shit about you.
I have a longer list of why you should hate me but I got a life to live so you can figure out the others later. more importantly, PLEASE DON'T HATE YOURSELF JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HATE ME.
It is okay. I know why. To make simple, I AM FREAKING BETTER THAN YOU.
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For You
Sunday, April 10, 2016 0 cutiepie
To be honest,
You didn't even have to look for my flaws - they were everywhere.
To you whom I trusted the most, who had seen me at my worst
If you're trying to bring me down - you would be able to do it.
You've held this special place in my heart and mind and having you there was like having roses inside me.
Roses;
I was blinded by the flowers, I ignored the obvious thorns.
The harder I held onto you, the more it hurt.
Yet, I kept on holding.
To be honest,
You didn't even have to call out for me - I was always by your side.
To you who made me bleed, who could read me like the back of your hand;
If you're trying to joke around - you would be able to do it.
Because to you I'm none other than a joke.
Jokes;
I laughed on the outside, I cried inside.
The harder I laughed, the more it hurt.
Yet, I kept on laughing.
To you who knew me more than myself,
You are no longer a rose nor I am a joke.
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what we were
We were once friends.
Back then when life seemed so hard, you were there. you held me close. you spoke up for me.
Ever since then, we were special. or at least I thought we were.
getting close to you is not easy you know; you always had these other friends that you cherished.
but I,
I cherish you.
Remember when you cried, I felt so sorry that I couldn't do anything to cheer you up.
You might even don't need me, what am I thinking?
But since you're special,
it saddened me too to see you falling apart.
Remember those late night thoughts, I told you stories that aren't supposed to be told.
We laughed, making fun of each other.
We giggled at our silly dreams.
We shared hopes.
Remember those uncountable number of foods we shared, we surely do love to eat.
All those snacks, fast foods, homemades, instants
We were like sisters.
Yet,
How on earth did all of that turn into memories overnight?
You are still my friend you know.
I still cherish you :')
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dear 💖
Thursday, March 31, 2016 1 cutiepie
Well, my little one and only heartit's never wrong to like someone
I mean, what is wrong with being normal?
But, when u can't stop beating for other humans
that is when it is totally wrong.
Never my dear heart
beats for humans unless your parents
(and obviously your siblings and fams)
Always my little one
beats for The One and only God,
Allah SWT
Set your priorities right darling,
It is never too late 💖
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To My Future Self